TAKE ME 'CAUSE I WANT TO BE YOURS

Before I had 3 boys of my own, I had 2 little platinum blonde guys as neighbors, one house down, in a huge neighborhood of 3 houses! I adored these little guys and they brought joy to my life at a time when we were struggling with infertility and those desperate feelings and thoughts of: "Will we ever have children of our own to enjoy??" I know their mother often thought they were "bugging" that young couple down the street. But, far from it.

They'd interrupt a moment of tears with a little giggle at the window and I'd join into their laughter. They loved spying on me at my kitchen window and though they were as sneaky as 5 & 6 year olds can be, I'd hear them coming up the dirt road, and, with my back to the window, know just the moment when they'd stick their noses up over the edge of the window sill. With that surprise move that got them every time, I'd wave a sudsy hand at them over my shoulder without ever turning around from my sink full of dirty dishes. Off they'd fly, giggling all the way back home! Their spying mission had been foiled again, but they were sure to get me the next time!!!

These boys were avid soccer players! We were all pretty sure these little guys would go on playing soccer "the rest of their lives" and earn college scholarships based on their soccer skills. However, God had a very different path that He asked them to walk. While their parents had been in music ministry, pre-children, in a very prominent church, they stepped down in order to focus on raising the children God had entrusted to them to serve Him. They did not fully step out of ministry, don't get me wrong, this family is all about serving Him!! They just set their music aside.

Along come Jr. High-ish years and these not-so-little guys start praising God through music. I always thought this was so awesome that God had brought their family full-circle, so to speak.

Those little guys are all grown up now and, along with a few of their friends, they are known as Dizmas. They have been together for 10 years or so, and have served Him in places and shared the Gospel with people that the average person reading this blog, it's author included, could not do. Though they'd been making music together for years and were supported in prayer by us, their style wasn't really what we listen to in our home. Very God honoring and sold out to God just a different musical style than Mom prefers around here. During my time of seeking the LORD's face about orphan rescue, one of their songs, became one of my prayers.

One of my favorite radio stations ( http://www.sosradio.net/ ) was playing this song one day and it immediately struck a chord with me. I heard something about fear and giving it over to the LORD and asking Him to hold my hand through the fear, and remove the overwhelming fear I was dealing with in the thought of doubling the number of our children. And, then the song said, "Take me where you want me, take me 'cause I want to be yours," and that was what I needed to remember. I am His and He will take me nowhere He cannot handle. I told my boys, "Now that is a good song, I wonder who it is??" But the announcer didn't tell us.

So, a couple days later, I hear this announcer talking about an "up and coming band" that we, the listener's, need to be watching for and I'm thinking, "Okay, let us hear the song already..." And, at that same moment he said, "Their name is Dizmas." Another giggle for me, all these years later, since I knew this was not a new band, they'd just celebrated 10 years together. But, imagine my surprise, when the opening line started and it was the VERY song I'd wondered just 2 days earlier who it was!!! So, without further ado, please join me in prayer...

YOURS

It feels like the sky has never been so blue
But that's not the way it used to be
Because there was a time that I was without you
Before I said that I believe

Ooooh, I need a savior
Ooooh, I need a savior

I want to give this up
I want to hold your hand
Take away this fear that's like an ocean in my head
I want to tell you now, What I couldn't say before
You are everything that I was always looking for

So take me where you want me
Take me 'cause I want to be yours

I've got pride that I still have to break
It's keeping me away from you
And You stay patient while I make mistakes
I'm learning how to trust in you

Ooooh, always a savior
Ooooh

I want to give this up
I want to hold your hand
Take away this fear that's like an ocean in my head
I want to tell you now, What I couldn't say before
You are everything that I was always looking for

So take me where you want me
Take me 'cause I want to be yours

In the good and the bad times
Ooooh
It don't really matter
I want to know you

I want to give this up
I want to hold your hand
Take away this fear that's like an ocean in my head
I want to tell you now, What I couldn't say before
You are everything that I was always looking for

So take me where you want me
Take me 'cause I want to be yours.

I'm not very talented at this computer stuff,
but maybe this link to the video of YOURS will work:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YlSquUhZuc4

Between Then & Now

Is this not PRECIOUS?? We were playing at the beach with Aliana and she'd been enjoying the sun, surfing with Daddy, stacking all the seaweed and kelp she could gather into a huge mountain, chasing down all the crabs in the tide pools and at one point I turn around and she has written "MAMA" in the sand. Now, I've done foster care and know that it is quite common for the new child in the house to use words like "Mom" and "Dad" for those in authority in the home they are living in. This is pure head knowledge. It was my heart that took this pic! For 6 special weeks in our lives, we were Mama and Daddy to this precious child of God! And, oh how very special that time is to us! It has become our hearts' desire to make real that relationship and those names, LORD willing.

So, what has occured between then and now?? Well, our entire hosting group of children returned to their orphanage in the Ukraine on August 31, 2008. And, we returned to our lives. Only it was different now. There were missing parts to our hearts. They'd gone home with the girls. Mark and I were so very uncertain about committing to move forward with adoption plans to add FOUR more precious lives to our family. That's not exactly the type of decision you make quickly, so we didn't. We "sat on it" for several months, three to be exact. And for most of that time as we went back and forth with those: "We must be crazy..." type questions running through our heads, I was nauseous. No joke. Weighing the pros and cons from all angles was unsettling me to my inner core. My dear friend told me I was experiencing adoption morning sickness and it would soon pass. Funny thing about that... It did! At three months! Funny timing. At that point, we committed to move forward and just see what the LORD had in His plan for us and be willing to walk in this path. And, all of my nausea just fell by the wayside. Interesting how those things work in our lives when we choose to TRUST AND OBEY, huh?!?

Trust and Obey
for there's no other way
to be happy in Jesus
but to trust and obey!

So, for now, we are busy trying to get a small house ready to fit a few more people. Think 1950's with 9'x10' or 10'x10' bedrooms. Trying to get those procrastinated projects, of all types, done and caught up on, because we figure it is better to stop procrastinating on them now. Obviously after we have more children, it's not like we'll have more time on our hands. We are constantly thinking: as a group of 10, how would the event, situation, issue, etc. we're in right now look. Whether it's getting ready for church, driving in an 8 seatbelt vehicle, camping, cooking dinner... Whatever it is, I'm constantly re-evaluating how it will be different by necessity. We talk about the adoption ALOT! To everyone we meet. I don't remember if I've said it here or in conversation with a friend, but I feel as if I've taken on a new career. I'm a PR person for older orphans. No, I'm not a potential adoptive mom, not me. I'm in public relations. So, if you happen to end up near me (and we haven't yet had the privelege to meet face to face) just about anywhere, in line or whatever, I'm the one talking Ukrainian adoption. Just humor me and pass me your e-mail address so I can keep you updated on this exciting journey we're taking! And, just maybe, you'll choose to join us down the road in one way or another. Perhaps it'll be helping our specific orphans get home or maybe you'll feel the call to rescue a few of your own!!!

WHEE!!!! NO HANDS!!! Hmmm, what is that song my boys like..... Oh, Jesus take the wheel.

Yes, Jesus, please do. Amen